a time to thrill

i'm determined to make my life outrageous, because lately i've gotten to the point where just staying up past 11pm is an apocalyptic event. and even then, i pay for my debauchery the next day by dozing at the desk or double-fisting double-shot iced lattes until i practically sweat coffee.

the last few weeks have been a great start. let's see... a few parties, eating out, cooking in, rafting, a quasi-picnic, a date, the city, MoMA, good friends, clear skin, and so on. but i have to keep myself bossy in the weeks to come, too.

especially since as far as work, i'm officially in the thick of living for the machine. before, i was in training and in retrospect i think i actually liked it that way. i always had something to complain about, which is nice. not getting paid yet, not having a desk, how disorganized some things were, the list goes on. these days i'm completely integrated into the system so that whatever happens fully involves me and whatever goes wrong is probably my fault.

remember college, guys? yes, i realize it was only months ago, but doesn't it feel like more? i'm having major riot withdrawal. all of you are writing, "wooooo apartments wooooo traveling wooooo jobs" or something like that, and the whole time i'm thinking "a year ago i was making out with complete strangers in the quad at midnight and climbing redwood trees." i just can't get over the fact that i can't be irresponsible anymore. that is, unless i want to live on the benches in front of pizza my heart and eat my words for sustenance.

*manda